In 1998 the idea for this course was birthed. I was having lunch one day with my good friend Marty Grubbs. Marty is Senior Pastor of Crossings Community Church in Oklahoma City. Crossings is a dynamic, growing church with a large membership. We had both performed weddings in the preceding month that we felt very uneasy about. It was not the couples that we were uneasy about. It was the fact that we had performed marriages without doing anything to equip these couples for marriage.
As we talked, the idea of a structured class to prepares couples came up. The more we talked about it, the more excited about the possibility I became. Marty asked me if I would design and teach the class. Obviously I said yes. Marty then went one important step further. It was a step neither of us were sure how it would be received. Marty took our idea to the church Elders and asked them to consider requiring anyone who wanted to be married at Crossings or by a Crossings pastor to the take the course or have the equivalent in premarital counseling. To our surprise, the Elders fully embraced the idea.
It became very important to us that people did not see this in any way as a legalistic move. The idea of requiring the course was to equip couples for marriage. To give them a chance to have everything in marriage that God has for them.
In 2000, then Governor Frank Keating of Oklahoma began the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative. It is a ten-year program to lower the divorce rate in the state of Oklahoma. It is a great program that has set the standard for other states. In 2000, the divorce rate in Oklahoma County (where Oklahoma City is located) was 67%. To date, for the couples that have taken this course and been married at least two years, the divorce rate is less that ten percent. My goal is for this percentage to someday be zero.
The course has evolved over the years. Things have been added and some things removed. It began as eight sessions and is now eleven. I am constantly looking for things that will communicate the message better. I hope you will consider the course either by attending it live or by the DVD, which will be out this summer.
